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40 years on a Heinkel Tourist
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Post by scootrboi on Nov 30, 2014 8:37:15 GMT -5
I think you win. JerryScript,
Your ride reminds me a little of one back in the sixties... I was running down a deserted strip of interstate around midnight on my old chopper. Probably doing around  or so, when something hit me in the face HARD. Almost went backwards off "Old Blue". Dizzy and hurting, I limped into a Fred Harvey "oasis". As I stumbled through the door, everybody looked at me in horror and gasped... I hit the men's room and saw myself in the mirror. I was covered in blood from my helmet brim to my shoulders, looking like a cast-member from a horror movie. There were some bones and mush poking out of my "colors"... and FEATHERS!!!Very little of the blood was mine... I had T-Boned a hawk, or an owl dead-center with my forehead! The hapless bird EXPLODED and blew itself inside my helmet, down my shirt and bits and pieces blasted through my denim colors... EEEWWW! Could be maybe I was doing better than ... It WAS a nice night, and, no speedo on Old Blue, and she'd do better than 135 in the 1/4 mile. Well, at least the poor old bird didn't suffer... But I did. I had a major concussion, with dizziness and headaches for a month. I had an aversion to fowl for years! LOL! You never know just what adventure a ride may bring your way...Leo (back to eatin' chicken again) in Texas |
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Post by oldchopperguy on Nov 30, 2014 14:19:53 GMT -5
Scootrboi,
Have a BONE! Some time I guess I'll have to do a post about a similar adventure on my old bagger... with a SKUNK... LOL! I ended up BURYING a nearly-new pair of genuine Harley boots I had saved for a year to buy...
Leo (gettin' OLD and appreciating the big windshield and mud-guard-plastics on my SCOOTER) in Texas
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Post by SylvreKat on Dec 1, 2014 0:06:16 GMT -5
Go on, Unca' Leo. Tell us a skunk story.
I'll start. My big bro's dog Tanner got skunked in their back yard. Imagine this from his perspective. He's doing his job protecting his family's yard from this uninvited critter, when the critter sprays stink into his face. So he runs for comfort from his family. And what do they do? Stick him in the garage. Poor Tanner.
So what's your story, Unca' Leo?
>'Kat
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Post by rockynv on Dec 1, 2014 8:56:38 GMT -5
One came in the garage while I was welding up some heavy steel and hid under some materials leaning against the wall behind the large swinging garage doors. It must have sprayed something just before it came inside to hide so it had an air about it. At first I thought the transformer on my arc welder was failing since I was using 1/4" rod and was close to a 20% duty cycle and possibly had extended past the 20% mark. Since the smell was not coming from the transformer we started checking the wires and found the smell coming from behind the garage door near the electrical panel so we grabbed a flashlight since it was dark out and I caught the flash of two eyes reflecting light back at me and then the white stripes when I pulled the sheet materials leaning there away from the wall. I let go the stack croaking skunk so as not to spook it any worse than I already had when I lost my head and let go of everything and ran pushing/carrying my brother along who did not yet comprehend till he repeated skunk?... SKUNK! Safely behind a closed door and needing to get the varmint out of the garage which was under the living room and our parents bedroom we formatted a plan to use the sheet of finish grade plywood that was on our side of the door, which belonged to my Brother-In-Law, as a shield to block off the garage by placing it against the wall and then the other side of the double swinging doors and since skunks at times can be led with a bright focused light, we narrowed the beam on the flashlight, pointed it at the floor in front of the skunk and the moment it moved, (my brother now let go and ran almost blowing the entire operation leaving me to hold the panel in place and keep the skunk moving) I kept the beam just ahead of it until it was far enough outside to gently closed the door behind him. It must have brushed up against the plywood since it now was carrying the smell so we put that outside after verifying from a window above that the skunk was not still right outside the door. My brother-in-law commented on how that was a valuable piece of material that belonged to a customer and that he did not appreciate it being left outside. We told him we were planning on leaving early and did not want him to come to a locked house and not be able to get to the material (which was our intention anyway before the skunk came). The smell stayed in the house for over a month despite all the washing/scrubbing/Odo-Ban/Malador/Glade, etc. My Brother-In-Laws client noticed the odor when he got home from work that night and commented that a dog must have tangled with a skunk nearby in his neighborhood when he was at work so that the smell got inside his home and it took over a month to air it out. Oh my!  |
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Post by SylvreKat on Dec 1, 2014 23:47:18 GMT -5
Closest I've come personally to skunking. I was outside photographing a lunar eclipse (I think--only thing that makes sense). I sensed something and looked over to the house, and a skunk was waddling along. I just froze, 'cause I had nothing for any defense if it had decided to come my way. They don't always just spray, you know.
Now where's Leo? He needs to tell his skunk-tale!
>'Kat
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Post by scooter on Dec 2, 2014 1:03:00 GMT -5
Closest I've come personally to skunking. I was outside photographing a lunar eclipse (I think--only thing that makes sense). I sensed something and looked over to the house, and a skunk was waddling along. I just froze, 'cause I had nothing for any defense if it had decided to come my way. They don't always just spray, you know. Now where's Leo? He needs to tell his skunk-tale! >'Kat I want to hear his skunk tale too. Leo has good stories. I love to meet animals. One day, a long time ago, in a town far far away, I saw a skunk walking around. I had never seen one before. It seemed very docile so I took a chance and scooted up to it, pun intended, and to my amazement it let me pet it. It didn't stink and it didn't spray me, and it seemed too friendly to be wild, so I picked it up and carried it around until I found its owner. That was a really nice way to meet a skunk. He was very cute and cuddly.  |
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Post by oldchopperguy on Dec 2, 2014 15:52:10 GMT -5
Closest I've come personally to skunking. I was outside photographing a lunar eclipse (I think--only thing that makes sense). I sensed something and looked over to the house, and a skunk was waddling along. I just froze, 'cause I had nothing for any defense if it had decided to come my way. They don't always just spray, you know. Now where's Leo? He needs to tell his skunk-tale! >'Kat OK Kat,
Been away from the computer lately. Here goes! Must have been 1970. My Harley Electra Glide was nearly brand-new. I was returning home from my parents place, about 40 miles from my house in the Chicago rural countryside.
It was late, probably 1 AM and being in a hurry, I took the freeway rather than my preferred 2-lane leisurely, scenic route. I'm on new, 6-lane, brightly-lit open-road, no other traffic, cruising 75 mph when 12-lanes over, on the oncoming traffic shoulder, I see a SKUNK.
HMMM... This is a couple hundred yards "down-wind" (good eyes back then... LOL!). I'm thinking "I'm glad he's on the OTHER side of the freeway"... Oh, yeah... So, "Pepe Le Pew" ambles across the opposing, deserted 6-lanes, and under the fence in the center "green-belt". Across the grass, shoulder and onto MY half of the 6-lane! EEWWWW!!!
Like Errol Flynn piloting his trusty Camel toward the Hun in the sun, in "Dawn Patrol" I went into evasion and escape mode!
Close throttle. Downshift to third-gear. White-knuckle the bars... Pepe sees my headlight! He is mesmerized... I'm NOT... I whip the old bagger left across all 6-lanes and Pepe does the same. I hit the rear brake, slide right and slingshot across all 6-lanes the other way. Pepe's agility is more than up to my evasive tactics, and he matches me move-for-move!
Now, BOTH brakes full-on (and that pathetic manual, cable-pull Harley front brake is a JOKE!)... I'm down to about 45 mph and thrashing that boat-anchor of a bike left, right and wishing for "up"...
As if the old Hog had a Star-Wars tractor-beam "El Skunko Rapido" seems electronically-attached to every move I make. I was probably still doing 40-45 and dragging floor-boards, crash-bars and knees like an Italian road-racer when the skunk and my front tire became one... I did everything humanly possible to miss that skunk... All to no avail.
The hapless little nipper did not suffer... He (she?) disintegrated, splashing into the front cylinder, crankcase, and up, UP and ALL over my jeans, AND my brand-new Harley-Davidson horsehide boots.
I composed myself, and rode (eyes watering in a cloud of military-grade chemical-weapon) to the closest spray-wash. I spent all my quarters and dollar-bills blasting the Hog, and my lower half. The bike cleaned up to LOOK OK, but the odor lingered for many, MANY miles into the future...
My new riding boots however, were a total loss. Hoping for help, I even took them to an old-school shoemaker who promptly threw me out, shouting "bury them boots... DEEP!"
I did. Along with a nice pair of just-broken-in Levi Jeans...
$150 in 1970 dollars' worth of prime horsehide... Cheesh, THAT is about $1,000 in Obama-Dollars! Lesson learned! Always watch for the redlight-runner, always watch for little kids feet showing beneath parked cars, always watch for the Hun in the sun... and always, ALWAYS remember SKUNKS are more maneuverable than BIKES!
And THAT'S "the skunk story"... EEEWWWW! Or, is that better said PEEEWWW!
Now, concerning Armadillos... A lot of Texas kids reach middle-age before they learn Armadillos are NOT born FLAT... HeHeHe....
That's all, folks!
Leo (still grateful for scooter plastics, floorboards and windshields) in Texas
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Post by scooter on Dec 2, 2014 17:01:01 GMT -5
Best skunk story ever, Leo! You are an artist with words as well as pictures!  |
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Post by scoot08 on Dec 2, 2014 20:36:16 GMT -5
novaraptor, ricardoguitars, surfpick, scooter, Paladin, shalomdawg, oldchopperguy, Jarlaxle, JerryScript, rockynv, SylvreKat, tvnacman Bee in the helmet if this has happened to you ,you know what i mean you can't get stopped fast enough and get that helmet off,if your lucky you get it off before it stings you, if not it just keeps stinging you till you do. I hate that.
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Post by SylvreKat on Dec 2, 2014 23:05:58 GMT -5
Unca' Leo, you tell the BESTEST stories ever!!
You reminded me, I clipped a dead skunk one time in the Taurus. The car ahead of me went into all sorts of shenanigans. I was too concerned what he was up to (I suppose in hindsight, avoiding a skunk) to see the skunk-body in time. I did swerve, but not...quite... enough.
Garage skunk-stunk for a week.
>'Kat
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Post by oldchopperguy on Dec 3, 2014 3:07:10 GMT -5
Thanks, guys and gals...
I do enjoy telling a good tale, especially when it's true, and I lived it myself. When you've been riding for well over a half-century, you've pretty much seen it all...
And, Scoot08... Welcome to the site! I had forgotten about BEES! Did THAT one, too... Short story: Feeling "the need for speed" NOT available with my old bagger, I had traded bikes for the evening, for my buddy's new Ducati Darmah for a quick romp down the freeway. Yeah, that 100+++++++ is addictive!
Just a mile from home, I was enjoying a perfect 75-degree evening, and YAWNED. Bad idea.
A hornet, or wasp went straight down the old pie-hole, stinging the back of my throat several times on the way down. My throat swelled up so bad I almost choked to death! Thankfully, a copious application of Jack Daniel's and a six-pack of Heineken soothed the way to recovery... LOL!
MOTORCYCLES can be DANGEROUS! Yup...
Ride safe!
Leo (keepin' my pie-hole shut) in Texas
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Post by SylvreKat on Dec 3, 2014 7:48:31 GMT -5
Leo (keepin' my pie-hole shut) in Texas Yeah, that'll be the day. I bet you'll be talkin' in the coffin. Same as me  But I've a question--if you're wearing a full face helmet, how do bees get in? If it's not a full face, how do they get trapped to start stinging? >'Kat |
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Post by Jarlaxle on Dec 3, 2014 7:57:45 GMT -5
Open visor.
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Post by novaraptor on Dec 3, 2014 10:40:55 GMT -5
Oh, yeah..Skunks and bees and birds.. I took a pigeon to the chest a few years back at 45mph. Fortunately, it slapped the fairing, bounced off the mirror and into me. Still hurt. Two weeks ago, a friend of mine was riding his triumph and had a large spider hit him and get into his shirt. Several bites to show for it. Large for here, of course. No match for those Florida spiders..
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Post by JerryScript on Dec 3, 2014 12:47:47 GMT -5
Way off topic here, but Leo, your stories are amazing! I've had an idea in the back of my mind for years to take an old big house and turn it into a restaurant called "The Story Tellers". The concept is that each room of the house would be a dining room with a single large community table. Each room would have a different "story teller" in it, a person who sits at the table with everyone else, and tells the most amazing stories throughout the meal. Unfortunately, it takes about 1.5 million to open a new restaurant, with HUGE risk especially when attempting a concept such as this. Who knows, I might be sending you a PM someday offering you a job! Till then, I will always enjoy your posts!  |
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or so, when something hit me in the face HARD. Almost went backwards off "Old Blue".
